Five Hard Truths I Learned about Myself Last Year

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

If I could sum up 2017 in one word, it would be growth. To be more specific, emotional growth.

Spoiler alert here: I didn’t realize all of this until the last two months of the year and spent the first 10-months in what felt like a never-ending emotional rollercoaster ride.

Over the years, I always allowed my mind to play games with me and hold conversations with my heart without my approval. Some of these conversations were not the kindest, and my heart was so easily manipulated by the ideas my mind would tell it.

There is something about the power of silence. So I spent a week by myself to explore the darkest tunnels of myself.


I’m not talking about compliments or that kind of sort, but the validation to make a decision. It’s the constant need for people to give me their two cents, so I have a better idea of what I want when deep down the decision is entirely mine for the making. What should really be the main validation is what truly sits right in your heart with good intentions.

I’m the protagonist of my story.

This year tested me in ways I didn’t expect, but hey, it was part of the emotional growth. I was placed in situations I rather prefer not to have been a part of. Regardless of how things have unfolded, I realized that I am the protagonist in my story and it was time to stop playing the antagonist. You have the power to turn the page and in some ways the power to also befriend those who have hurt you.

There is a true power that adds to your character once you realize that people are all made of the same cells like you and are equally human.

The power of detachment is stronger than the lust for attachment.

I couldn’t let go, whatever that meant. Letting go is a concept — a saying that we’re all so used to hearing. We read about it, we quote it, we even give others advice based on the two words, “let go.”

In the end, it’s much harder than that. I’m not one to let go because I feel like I’m giving up and somethings are meant to be given up. Instead, it’s about the choice of my words, and I chose detachment.

Detach from the idea, detach from the situation, and detach from whatever that is halting your growth. It sounds and feels so much better when it doesn’t feel so permanent.

Sometimes its the lust for attachment that keeps you, but the power of detachment is what saves you.

Part of self-love and care is building a friendship with yourself

Friendship is actually a gift in itself. How could you be a good friend to others when you aren’t a good friend to yourself? How could you love, care and say kind words to others when those are not mirrored within yourself?

After a week in isolation, I realized I was never living in the present with myself. My mind was buzzing with a long checklist of things I needed to do, people I needed to see and filling the void of uncomfortably sitting alone with myself. I hated feeling lonely.

But thanks to the deep conversations I held with myself, I was able to realize these dark truths that only a good friend could help you realize.

Your intuition has always been by your side.

If there was any question in the back of my mind, it was the fact that my intuition was broken. It didn’t exist. It’s the compass that guides you through life, and somewhere along the line, I broke it.

Intuition is something you need to trust, and to trust is another hard truth we all come across in our life. It’s not something that happens overnight, but the first step is to fully accept and believe that your intuitions are speaking to you. And if you listen close enough, maybe you can hear the needle of your soul move.

Originally published at



Human who likes to write about human things: mindfulness, connections, and five-line stories.

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Akina Marie Chargualaf

Akina Marie Chargualaf


Human who likes to write about human things: mindfulness, connections, and five-line stories.