Give Yourself Permission to Start Over

Akina Marie Chargualaf
2 min readAug 3, 2021
Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Growing up, I wish we were told more that it’s okay to start over. That starting over isn’t as scary as we perceive it to be, but instead a reminder that we are meant to forge more paths than the single one we’ve been trekking on. As we grow older, life may become more disenchanting compared to what it once was through our youthful and eager eyes. We become more realistic when it comes to chasing dreams, and we let our external environments take charge more than our internal voices.

So what do you do when it costs you your passion, your imagination, and your ability to believe in the impossible? You give yourself the permission to start over.

There’s a heaviness to the thought of starting over; it’s the thought of exchanging your old life for a new one. This heaviness caused me to question the one-way ticket I bought, once again, in hopes of seeing what opportunities were outside the comfort of my home. There was much fear attached to that ticket — the fear of failing, losing close friends, leaving my mother behind, and most of all, change.

Leading to my departure, I looked at my friends one last time with questionable eyes. They each, in their own way, sent me off saying:

“You need to starting seeing this as an adventure.”

They were right.

Starting over gives us room to understand our fears on a personal level. Is the fear of change bigger than succeeding? What if, instead of giving in to that fear and the possibility of failing, we ask ourselves what is to be gained even when faced with failure.

Even when a job rejects us or the city we moved to was not as idyllic as our teenage selves imagined it to be, we always walk away with something. We walk away with a lived experience and a better understanding of our coping mechanism. We walk away with renewed inspired ideas or the ability to let go of dreams that we have outgrown.

Starting over doesn’t mean quickly jumping into the same routine as you were before. Everyone needs a break. Period.

It’s a time to rethink and redirect your intentions. Ask yourself what promoted the change. Were you running away? If so, so what. Slow down, take a breather, and ask yourself what you want to do differently. Was your intention to heal? Good. Then we have the first step moving forward.

Go with it, start over, then do it again.

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Akina Marie Chargualaf

Human who likes to write about human things: mindfulness, connections, and five-line stories. http://www.akinamarie.com